I'm pretty sure I commented on the last article with "ways to destress that work for me, a chronically stressed person", but in case I forgot, here's a bullet point list.
1. Make time for your hobbies, and make sure some of them have nothing to do with your day job. This is my main failure mode every time my stress overwhelms me. "Oops, I've been doing only work and chores and no hobbies for 14 days, NO WONDER my mental health is shit."
2. Go outside a few times per week, touch some grass.
3. Spend less time online, unless it's productive (ie, learning a new skill, doing a hobby*, conversing with friends who don't do phone calls, etc).
4. No doomscrolling or constantly refreshing pages for updates.
5. Ruthlessly cultivate your feed if you use social media. Mine is fire emblem fanart and Pokemon memes.
6. Drag your spouse/family/friends somewhere at least once a month and make a day of it.
7. Get a pet**. Train it to perform deep pressure therapy.
*Arguing about politics does not count as a hobby for this purpose.
What’s worked for me these past two years to get happier
1) spending money
2) driving the MGB (until it caught fire)
3) riding the Norton (until the crankshaft broke)
4) looking at the Lambretta, MGB, Norton, and especially the Triumph (still doesn’t run quite right yet unfortunately)
5) having a steak and listening to the jukebox at the Pig & Whistle
6) spending time with my roommate when she’s not crying or otherwise bemoaning her fate
7) looking at some of my immensely cool books, wool coats, and shoes
8) both (1992 and 2002) honeymoons with my future and recently married wife, but in retrospect that relationship has been a mistake.
Sadly, while she’s much nicer than when I live with her full time, staying with my wife and the kids on the weekends is more melancholy than joyful for me (to my shame).
Antidepressants don’t work well at all for me, they made me either actively suicidal (Prozac in 1989), changed sadness to intense anger (Wellbutrin in 2021), of did nothing mood altering at all (Mirtazipine and Lithium) with little difference in my mood between the months using and not using them.
I'm not on the bleeding edge of what's trendy on the internet, but I do like to keep tabs on cultural / artistic / aesthetic movements that have the chance of going big. Does anyone know of a good "roundup"-style newsletter, blog, or podcast that will keep me informed of what I need to know regarding what microcultural trends might have the serious potential to get out of their containment unit and influence the mainstream? I already read Ryan Broderick's Garbage Day (from which the "containment unit" line comes, it's one of his favorite metaphors). My ideal would be something that doesn't expect me to have been involved with various subcultures and styles, but will tell me why they are important - basically, I want something that will mansplain stuff to me.
Thank you Mister Contrarian! My self-promotion efforts are not going very well otherwise, so I appreciate the encouragement.
I discussed with my husband whether we really diminish our children's opportunities with our lifestyle. One of the children, a seven-year-old, overheard us and explained:
"Yes, you never have the time to build a hen's house". He wants to be a farmer and he would like to start with a group of hens. So he clearly thought that we reduce his opportunities through not being rural enough.
I was just informed I messed up all sorts of pronouns in your section - I changed everything to neutral because at this point I genuinely don't trust myself to get it right. Let me know if you want something different.
I use to say that my pronouns are he, she, it: I couldn't care less. And they/them, of course. Technically I'm definitely female, but I leave it to others to decide what to do about that when they speak. It's a question of style and I think it looks fine as you wrote it.
So the first disclaimer here is that for many reasons I interpret "clean clothes" and "showering often" as "things you can control" so I tend to not rewear them at all anymore. But basically if I'm wearing deoderant, not leaving the house (I live in a hot climate, one of the hottest) and not doing manual labor in the thing, about three times before I get scared and stop.
If I do any of those things, sometimes "less than once" where it's a partial-day thing. Sweaty clothes are the worst.
I'm happy to hear that this jives with what I've been doing with my pajamas. I didn't realize multi-day clothes--aside from jeans--were A Thing until I got married and noticed that my husband re-used his pajama pants for multiple days. But I've always been scared to ask what the limit is. It felt like one of those things I was supposed to magically know...
The tricky thing here is that the real right answer is "if they aren't dirty and don't smell, you can wear clothes infinity times". But I suspect that there's at least a chance I might acclimate to my own smells faster than than they build up, and I don't want to risk more than a couple days, particularly on upper-body-wear.
Oh, I'm 100% sure that I acclimate to my own stink too quickly. I had a prolonged period where I couldn't shower due to an injury. I started smelling around day 3, but didn't actually notice until day 5.
My plan to use my husband to counteract my olfactory bias has failed, because his answer is always "I think you smell nice" even when I'm covered in sweat. (Pheromones are one hell of a drug!)
Any number before an observable bacterial accumulation occurs, bearing in mind that others may observe the bacteria before you do depending on individual olfactory strength and whether the bacteria has been present long enough for repetitive stimuli to be blocked out. Alternatively, never wear a tshirt to achieve the zero case of indefinitely. (Only joking.)
(To add to the serious answers one hour to 7 days depending on how quickly the clothing gets soiled/stinky.
Don't feel bad for not noticing your own stink; it's what the reticular activating system is designed to do. Just try to pre-empt it & play it on the safe side.)
I'm pretty sure I commented on the last article with "ways to destress that work for me, a chronically stressed person", but in case I forgot, here's a bullet point list.
1. Make time for your hobbies, and make sure some of them have nothing to do with your day job. This is my main failure mode every time my stress overwhelms me. "Oops, I've been doing only work and chores and no hobbies for 14 days, NO WONDER my mental health is shit."
2. Go outside a few times per week, touch some grass.
3. Spend less time online, unless it's productive (ie, learning a new skill, doing a hobby*, conversing with friends who don't do phone calls, etc).
4. No doomscrolling or constantly refreshing pages for updates.
5. Ruthlessly cultivate your feed if you use social media. Mine is fire emblem fanart and Pokemon memes.
6. Drag your spouse/family/friends somewhere at least once a month and make a day of it.
7. Get a pet**. Train it to perform deep pressure therapy.
*Arguing about politics does not count as a hobby for this purpose.
**A cat is ideal because they come pre-trained.
Great advice. When I forget or am too busy for 1, I tend to spiral down and end up feeling like there will be zero time for 1 ever again.
What’s worked for me these past two years to get happier
1) spending money
2) driving the MGB (until it caught fire)
3) riding the Norton (until the crankshaft broke)
4) looking at the Lambretta, MGB, Norton, and especially the Triumph (still doesn’t run quite right yet unfortunately)
5) having a steak and listening to the jukebox at the Pig & Whistle
6) spending time with my roommate when she’s not crying or otherwise bemoaning her fate
7) looking at some of my immensely cool books, wool coats, and shoes
8) both (1992 and 2002) honeymoons with my future and recently married wife, but in retrospect that relationship has been a mistake.
Sadly, while she’s much nicer than when I live with her full time, staying with my wife and the kids on the weekends is more melancholy than joyful for me (to my shame).
Antidepressants don’t work well at all for me, they made me either actively suicidal (Prozac in 1989), changed sadness to intense anger (Wellbutrin in 2021), of did nothing mood altering at all (Mirtazipine and Lithium) with little difference in my mood between the months using and not using them.
4 sounds like the genre of "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance", which you should absolutely read if you haven't already.
I'm not on the bleeding edge of what's trendy on the internet, but I do like to keep tabs on cultural / artistic / aesthetic movements that have the chance of going big. Does anyone know of a good "roundup"-style newsletter, blog, or podcast that will keep me informed of what I need to know regarding what microcultural trends might have the serious potential to get out of their containment unit and influence the mainstream? I already read Ryan Broderick's Garbage Day (from which the "containment unit" line comes, it's one of his favorite metaphors). My ideal would be something that doesn't expect me to have been involved with various subcultures and styles, but will tell me why they are important - basically, I want something that will mansplain stuff to me.
Thank you Mister Contrarian! My self-promotion efforts are not going very well otherwise, so I appreciate the encouragement.
I discussed with my husband whether we really diminish our children's opportunities with our lifestyle. One of the children, a seven-year-old, overheard us and explained:
"Yes, you never have the time to build a hen's house". He wants to be a farmer and he would like to start with a group of hens. So he clearly thought that we reduce his opportunities through not being rural enough.
I was just informed I messed up all sorts of pronouns in your section - I changed everything to neutral because at this point I genuinely don't trust myself to get it right. Let me know if you want something different.
I use to say that my pronouns are he, she, it: I couldn't care less. And they/them, of course. Technically I'm definitely female, but I leave it to others to decide what to do about that when they speak. It's a question of style and I think it looks fine as you wrote it.
I don't believe you are any of those things!
So the first disclaimer here is that for many reasons I interpret "clean clothes" and "showering often" as "things you can control" so I tend to not rewear them at all anymore. But basically if I'm wearing deoderant, not leaving the house (I live in a hot climate, one of the hottest) and not doing manual labor in the thing, about three times before I get scared and stop.
If I do any of those things, sometimes "less than once" where it's a partial-day thing. Sweaty clothes are the worst.
I'm happy to hear that this jives with what I've been doing with my pajamas. I didn't realize multi-day clothes--aside from jeans--were A Thing until I got married and noticed that my husband re-used his pajama pants for multiple days. But I've always been scared to ask what the limit is. It felt like one of those things I was supposed to magically know...
The tricky thing here is that the real right answer is "if they aren't dirty and don't smell, you can wear clothes infinity times". But I suspect that there's at least a chance I might acclimate to my own smells faster than than they build up, and I don't want to risk more than a couple days, particularly on upper-body-wear.
Oh, I'm 100% sure that I acclimate to my own stink too quickly. I had a prolonged period where I couldn't shower due to an injury. I started smelling around day 3, but didn't actually notice until day 5.
My plan to use my husband to counteract my olfactory bias has failed, because his answer is always "I think you smell nice" even when I'm covered in sweat. (Pheromones are one hell of a drug!)
I throw it at my wife, if she doesn't gag, it's good for another day of around the house wear.
imma say 3
Any number before an observable bacterial accumulation occurs, bearing in mind that others may observe the bacteria before you do depending on individual olfactory strength and whether the bacteria has been present long enough for repetitive stimuli to be blocked out. Alternatively, never wear a tshirt to achieve the zero case of indefinitely. (Only joking.)
(To add to the serious answers one hour to 7 days depending on how quickly the clothing gets soiled/stinky.
Don't feel bad for not noticing your own stink; it's what the reticular activating system is designed to do. Just try to pre-empt it & play it on the safe side.)