Discussion thread 10/24
Because every once in a while I remember I'm supposed to do these
I’m supposed to do these all the time. It’s one of the first things they teach you in blogger school, right after how many times you can wear the same t-shirt without washing it. And yet I can’t; it is beyond me. I can fix a car and I can kick an object slightly above my head, but I can’t do this.
Yet I am still loved; I feel very blessed.
Stuff
I have had more than a few people contact me both in the comments and by email bearing sympathy for my stressy-ness. I would like to assure everyone that even though I’m stressed, I’m basically fine. I would also like to encourage anyone who has been through similar experiences to post anything that worked for them in that article or here.
I will probably stop reminding people at some point, but I have a discord. The always-weird-sounding purpose of the discord is to give people access to me if they need me for anything. The secondary purpose is as a hangout spot; there’s lots of good folks in there.
(There is, fair warning, also a sub-channel within the discord whose purpose is fight-to-the-death political discussion. I feel people should be allowed to do this or dodge this as desired; the rest of the discord is nice and friendly.)
Due to the long and patient efforts of an internet friend, I now have a crypto address. I’m putting it up on the sidebar of the main site, but it’s 0xe580b78b8e0779319b8df92e542f0e3927c634a8.
I’m actually interested to see if this does anything, support-wise. Theoretically, there are people who have crypto, don’t like using credit cards, and who like the kind of stuff I produce. I hope to corner this niche market and use the proceeds to purchase an Australian opal mine. I’m not 100% it works like that, but I will report back once I find out.I’m still accepting freelance writing here. Right now I’m very honestly a little fuzzy on pricing for different kinds of projects, but the way I’m solving this is to mostly just do the first project of any particular kind with a relatively flexible idea of pricing, mostly so I can get a handle on what takes more/less time than I think it does, and what I like or dislike.
All that to say if you have something you want me to look at, let me know - I’d like to eventually grow this to where it’s a significant part of my income (or all of it) but I’m still more or less in beta testing.
Links
1). Jay Rollins once said this:
On an individual level, I think EAs are glassy-eyed but harmless indoor kids with tech money. But I like RC. He’s heavily armed, takes no shit, and turns into a wheel of blades when challenged, and I appreciate that in a person.
And it’s one of my favorite things anyone has ever said about me. I want “was sometimes a spinning wheel of blades” on my tombstone. Jay said this wonderful thing on his blog, which he has, and which is pretty good. Here’s the post the spinning blades thing is from, and here’s the blog in general. Enjoy!
2). I’m not 100% convinced on 100% of long covid, but I’d also hate to be the guy who was wrong about it in a counterproductive way. Eureka Health is an early-stage app that tracks correlations between any health variable and any health outcome. I’ve seen a bit of it; it’s pretty slick. Right now they seem to be focusing on long covid folks. If you’re that, it’s probably worth looking into.
3). Taking advantage of my offer to plug things is Tove K, who sent me this article about the tie between sex and relationships ((which I agree with in parts and disagree with in parts) a few weeks ago and this (about evolutionary psychology, stress, and their efforts to destressify themselves) a few a days ago. Fun quote:
In order to cure my depression, I did the evolutionary psychology thing hard-core: I got married and had children. I dropped out of university. I moved to the countryside. I started to renovate and build houses and to grow food for my family.
Did it make me happy? Yes. Did it make me rich? No. Did it make me successful? Nope.
There is a reason why most people don't do what Anders and I did: It costs. It costs in terms of standard of living, it costs in terms of social status and most of all, it costs in terms of professional opportunities. Not only for ourselves but also for our children, which is probably more than most can bear.
Possible upcoming articles
Something about how really everything is a slippery slope and you should be very afraid of them
How hard is it to be honest?
Durable objects of high workmanship and how I love them
Something about car repair, but interspersed with things that aren’t about car repair. This would mostly be to prove that I can write an article that makes at least one person cry that’s mostly about car repair.
That’s it! Otherwise this is an open discussion thread - have at ye.
I'm pretty sure I commented on the last article with "ways to destress that work for me, a chronically stressed person", but in case I forgot, here's a bullet point list.
1. Make time for your hobbies, and make sure some of them have nothing to do with your day job. This is my main failure mode every time my stress overwhelms me. "Oops, I've been doing only work and chores and no hobbies for 14 days, NO WONDER my mental health is shit."
2. Go outside a few times per week, touch some grass.
3. Spend less time online, unless it's productive (ie, learning a new skill, doing a hobby*, conversing with friends who don't do phone calls, etc).
4. No doomscrolling or constantly refreshing pages for updates.
5. Ruthlessly cultivate your feed if you use social media. Mine is fire emblem fanart and Pokemon memes.
6. Drag your spouse/family/friends somewhere at least once a month and make a day of it.
7. Get a pet**. Train it to perform deep pressure therapy.
*Arguing about politics does not count as a hobby for this purpose.
**A cat is ideal because they come pre-trained.
What’s worked for me these past two years to get happier
1) spending money
2) driving the MGB (until it caught fire)
3) riding the Norton (until the crankshaft broke)
4) looking at the Lambretta, MGB, Norton, and especially the Triumph (still doesn’t run quite right yet unfortunately)
5) having a steak and listening to the jukebox at the Pig & Whistle
6) spending time with my roommate when she’s not crying or otherwise bemoaning her fate
7) looking at some of my immensely cool books, wool coats, and shoes
8) both (1992 and 2002) honeymoons with my future and recently married wife, but in retrospect that relationship has been a mistake.
Sadly, while she’s much nicer than when I live with her full time, staying with my wife and the kids on the weekends is more melancholy than joyful for me (to my shame).
Antidepressants don’t work well at all for me, they made me either actively suicidal (Prozac in 1989), changed sadness to intense anger (Wellbutrin in 2021), of did nothing mood altering at all (Mirtazipine and Lithium) with little difference in my mood between the months using and not using them.